Family Peace

PART 1 - SUBMISSION IS THE KEY

To be a disciple we need to submit our soul (mind, will, and emotions) to the Word/Jesus and to the Holy Spirit’s leadership. If we let our own thoughts, wants, and feelings lead us through life, we are walking right into Satan’s open arms.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, and self-control. They develop when we are obedient to the Word and submit to the leadership of the Holy Spirit. The amazing thing is, if we make submission to Him continual, these things remain continual. The more we press in, the fruit just gets juicier and sweeter. It’s a miracle. It’s like a spring of the sweetest water that doesn’t ever stop.

John 7: 37-39

...Jesus stood and cried out, saying, If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. The one believing into Me, as the Scripture said, Out of his belly will flow rivers of living water. But He said this about the Spirit, whom the ones believing into Him were about to receive; for the Holy Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.

The fruit of the Spirit is a certain thing through submission. It’s just as certain that the fruit will start fading away and demons will start having more influence over us if we go through life following our own thoughts, desires, and emotions - letting our soul lead the way. It all boils down to humble submission.

PART 2 - THE WORD SPEAKS...

God clearly lays out how to find family peace. Again, it’s a matter of submission.

Ephesians 5:17-29

...do not become foolish, but understanding what the will of the Lord is...subjecting ourselves to one another in the fear of God. Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord, because a husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is Head of the Assembly, and He is Saviour of the body. But even as the Assembly is subject to Christ, so also the wives to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Assembly and gave Himself up on her behalf, that He might sanctify her, cleansing it by the bathing of the water in the Word, that He might present her to Himself as the glorious Assembly, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such things, but that she be holy and without blemish. So, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies, the one loving his wife loves himself, for then no one hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes her, even as also the Lord the Assembly.

Ephesians 6:1-3

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise, “that it may be well with you, and you may be long-lived on the earth.”

Here it is in a nutshell…

Jesus submits to God the Father.
The assembly (church) submits to Jesus.
The husband submits to Jesus.
The wife submits to the husband.
The children submit to and honor the parents.

PART 3 - JESUS’ SUBMISSION TO GOD THE FATHER

Jesus came to earth to do His Father’s will.

John 6:38

For I have come down out of Heaven, not that I should do My will, but the will of Him who sent Me.

Jesus remained just in His Father’s eyes because He continually submitted Himself to His Father.

John 5:30

I am not able to do anything of Myself, nothing! Just as I hear, I judge; and My judgment is just, because I do not seek My will, but the will of the Father having sent Me.

Jesus submitted Himself to His Father even under intense stress. The following is what happened just before being taken into custody to be crucified.

Luke 22:41-44

And He was withdrawn from them, about a stone’s throw. And having placed the knees, He prayed, saying, Father, if You purpose it, take away this cup from Me; but let not be My will, but let be Your will. And an angel from Heaven appeared to Him, strengthening Him. And coming to be in agony, He prayed more intently. And His sweat came to be as drops of blood falling down onto the earth.

Jesus led from the front and set the example. If we want to experience family peace we need to have the fruit of the Spirit in our lives. This means submitting our soul (mind, will, and emotion) to the Word/Jesus and allowing the Holy Spirit to lead us.

PART 4 - HUSBAND’S SUBMISSION TO JESUS

Husband, you are your wife’s leader. Your wife is to submit to you in everything. This is from God. You, your wife, or anyone else don’t have the authority to change this.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord, because a husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is Head of the Assembly, and He is Saviour of the body. But even as the Assembly is subject to Christ, so also the wives to their own husbands in everything.

In the current American culture the idea of the wife submitting to the husband is considered a social perversion. A man who believes in this is called a male chauvinist. Men, don’t allow culture to pull you away from obedience to the Word.

John 15:19

If you were of the world, the world would love its own. But because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.

I was once watching The Unit, which was a T.V. show of an elite military team. The married team leader was speaking. He said, “I’m scared of no man” and with a short pause…”and one woman.” I thought that was hilarious. Married men understand what’s so funny about that. The sad part is...it’s so true. Our culture has become twisted and upside down. Ever hear “A happy wife makes a happy life?” This saying may cause a chuckle, but it’s still spiritually perverted if it means submitting to her by giving her everything she wants.

Husbands, you should not fear your wives. You should not be ruled by her. She should have a submissive heart towards you. This is established by God, whether she wants to accept it or not. Don’t let fear and cowardice prevent you from leading your wives.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God did not give a spirit of cowardice to us, but of power and of love and of self-control.

Revelation 21:7-8

The one overcoming will inherit all things, and I will be God to him, and he will be the son to Me. But for the cowardly one...their part will be in the lake burning with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.

How does a husband lead the family? First, he needs to submit to the Word/Jesus. His wife may not trust him enough to let him lead if he isn't clearly living by the Word. Second, he needs to submit to the Holy Spirit’s leadership.

A common question is how can a husband take a leadership role when his wife wants to be in control. This is tricky without being heavy handed. This may even seem impossible when dealing with a domineering wife. For the solution, husbands need to look through spiritual eyes, rather than worldly eyes. Holy Spirit guidance and prayerful intercession/warfare can set the family hierarchy back into proper order. The Holy Spirit can handle the situation if He is allowed to lead. This may take time because submission is often a process. Be patient and vigilant.

Ephesians 5:25-29

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Assembly and gave Himself up on her behalf, that He might sanctify her, cleansing it by the bathing of the water in the Word, that He might present her to Himself as the glorious Assembly, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such things, but that she be holy and without blemish. So, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies, the one loving his wife loves himself, for then no one hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes her, even as also the Lord the Assembly.

The Word says husbands should love their wives like Christ loved the church. Husbands are to sacrifice themselves for their wives’ well-being, being sure their wives are acceptable in God’s eyes. Sacrifice doesn’t mean submitting to the wife. It means loving, guiding, and protecting her, even if she doesn’t understand or appreciate what the husband’s doing. During this process husbands may feel intense rejection, hurt feelings, loneliness, self-pity, depression, and frustration. He must not accept these feelings and instead must lean on the Holy Spirit as the Comforter. The husband must pray for his wife to receive conviction. If the husband remains spiritually vigilant, his wife will eventually feel conviction and start the process of submitting to him.

Disciples are spiritual fighters. They don’t give up on their wives. Disciples know it’s their job to stay with her and spiritually fight for her! Disciples know it’s their job to nourish and cherish her. They know it’s their job to sanctify her by making her holy and blemish free when she’s presented to the Lord...yes, even if she’s being a “nasty, prideful, controlling brat.” Disciples know they aren’t fighting against their wives, but rather the demons influencing them. Disciples don’t divorce their wives except in cases of fornication.

Husbands, you don’t want your prayers hindered? Then you better honor your wife!

1 Peter 3:7

Likewise, husbands, dwelling together according to knowledge, as with a weaker vessel, the feminine one, bestowing honor, as truly being co-heirs of the grace of life, not cutting off your prayers.

Always remember, husbands aren’t more important in God’s eyes than the wives. Husbands and wives are co-heirs, equal. They just have different roles in the family.

PART 5 - WIFE’S SUBMISSION TO THE HUSBAND

Ephesians 5:22-24

The Pharisees of the Old Testament lived by the law, not the heart. Jesus turned their world upside down when He made it clear that while they observed the law, their hearts were empty and black. Jesus brought about the sanctifying change from “under the law” to “under grace.” What makes this change is...a matter of the heart.

There isn’t much ambiguity with Ephesians 5:22-24. If a wife wants to debate as to exactly what “subject yourselves” and “everything” mean, then she’s thinking like a Pharisee. She’s living under the law. This is sin and it grieves the Holy Spirit. On the other hand, if the wife interprets the scripture for what it plainly says, she’ll know what God’s will is. If she chooses to submit her own desires to the Word/Jesus, she’ll WANT to submit to her husband! When she submits herself to the Word/Jesus and the leadership of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit’s fruit will blossom in her life. She’ll find a depth of love, joy, and peace that she couldn’t find otherwise.

A wife may have difficulty submitting to her husband for good reason. Maybe he’s spiritually immature, very sinful, or mean. This will take much humbleness, patience, and spiritual vigilance on the wife’s part. The wife will have to submit herself to the Word/Jesus and be led by the Holy Spirit. This will allow her to put her emotions in check and bask in the peace the Holy Spirit will release on her, even in the midst of turmoil. Once the Holy Spirit is allowed to lead, the wife can pray for conviction to be brought to her husband so he can change his ways. Of course, being a disciple, the wife will know she’s not fighting against her husband, but rather the demons influencing him. Her submission to him will be from the heart, not

by law like a Pharisee. Yes, she’ll do this even if he’s a “mean, self-centered jerk.” With that said...if he’s causing her to sin or is abusing her, she certainly can draw a line in the sand and say “no more.” If she needs to get away from him to protect herself, then she should. Disciples don’t divorce their husbands except in cases of fornication.

Wives, you weren’t made to lead the family. You were made to help your husband.

Genesis 2:18

And Jehovah God said, It is not good, the man being alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.

1 Corinthians 11:9

for also man was not created for the sake of the woman, but woman for the sake of the man

Wives, if you want to influence your husbands, do it with a meek and quiet spirit.

1 Peter 3:1-6

Likewise, wives, submitting yourselves to your own husbands, that even if any disobey the Word, through the behavior of the wives, without a word they will be won, observing your pure behavior in fear. Of whom let it not be the outward act of braiding of hairs, and of putting gold around, or putting on garments of adornment, but the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of the meek and quiet spirit, which is of great value before God. For so formerly also the holy women, the ones hoping on God, adorned themselves, submitting themselves to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose children you became, doing good, and fearing no terror.

Wives are just as important as husbands. Wives and husbands are co-heirs, equal in God’s eyes. They just have different roles in the family.

When they both accept their role and take to it with enthusiasm, the family will be blessed.

PART 6 - PARENTS, STEP-PARENTS, GUARDIANS…

Imagine raising a child that is obedient to the Word/Jesus and who allows the Holy Spirit to lead them. This child will be blessed. The child will rest in God and will be in peace. Even if the world is falling apart around them, they will remain in peace. They will utilize the spiritual power and authority given to them. The child will not fear and will have the quiet confidence of faith. Love, joy, and peace will saturate the child down to the marrow.

Start raising the child in God from conception. Make obedience to the Word and being led by the Spirit as natural as breathing air. You must be vigilant about this because the world will try to make other things a priority in your life. Lead by example. Make the Word’s way the right way, regardless of what the world says. Make deliverance and healings a normal part of life. Teach them to run to God first with all their needs.

PART 7 - CHILDREN’S SUBMISSION TO PARENTS

Ephesians 6:1-3

Children, whether young or old, obey your parents and honor them. This is an order from God and it comes with a promise. If you don’t obey them and honor them, things may not go well with you and your life may be cut short. Don’t put yourself above the Word/Jesus. Don’t let your emotions overpower the Word/Jesus. The quicker you learn to submit your soul (mind, will, and emotions) to the Word/Jesus and be led by the Spirit, the quicker you will find the happiness you want.

Even if your parents are “mean, unfair, and unloving’” you still need to submit to them unless they are making you sin or are seriously abusing you. You aren’t submitting to them and honoring them necessarily because they deserve it, but rather because that’s what God wants you to do. If you don’t, it’s sin and the demons can start tormenting you. Submit to the Word/Jesus and let the Holy Spirit lead you. His fruit, including joy and peace, will start to blossom in your life. Focus on yourself, rather than trying to control your parents. If you are guided by the Holy Spirit, He won’t fail you.

PART 8 - DEMONIC ATTACK

The devil will do everything he can to destroy the family. The family is the glue that keeps everyone aligned with God’s will. When the family is aligned with the Word/Jesus and is led by the Spirit, the fruit of the Spirit will blossom. The family will be blanketed with love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, and self-control. But if the devil can make family members refuse to align themselves with the Word/Jesus, demonic torment will ensue. The bottom line is this...if family members align themselves with the Word/Jesus and are led by the Holy Spirit, their soul will go to heaven when their body dies. If they rebel against the Word/Jesus, their souls will go to hell for eternity.

Starting in 1 Kings 16:28, Ahab and Jezebel are mentioned. Ahab was the king of Israel who was more evil than any of the kings before him. Jezebel was his wife. She was domineering over Ahab and persuaded him to rebel against God. As you read about them, know that the same evil spirits that were working in them continue to try to work in us today.

There are many demons that hinder husbands from submitting to the Word/Jesus. But there is a specific demon a man often has who has a domineering wife. This is the Ahab spirit. This spirit causes the husband to fear the wife and submit to her. Don’t let your wife make you believe that submitting to her means you love her. No! Loving her means you are willing to sacrifice yourself to make sure she is without blemish when presented to the Lord. Allowing her to dominate over you is NOT going to make her without blemish when presented to the Lord.

There are many demons that hinder wives from submitting to the Word/Jesus. But there is a specific demon that a wife can get into her that causes all sorts of problems. This is the spirit of Jezebel. Jezebel makes the wife crave control over her husband. This spirit is a marriage breaker. The spiritual qualities of Jezebel are like the worldly qualities of a narcissist - self-centeredness, pridefulness, and controllingness to name a few. Jezebel prevents wives from being loving to their husband. If a wife who has a jezebel spirit doesn’t get what she wants, she gets offended easily and often retaliates fiercely. They’ll use sex as a form of reward, as a method of control. The list goes on-and-on regarding the wicked qualities of this spirit. This spirit is often passed down generationally, from mother to daughter.

Now that the Jezebel spirit has been discussed, there is one more thing that should be made clear. Husbands SHOULD NOT TOLERATE THIS SPIRIT. The Word says a husband’s headship over his wife is like God’s headship over the church.

Ephesians 5:23

...husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is Head of the Assembly...

Jesus doesn’t tolerate Jezebel in the church; therefore, husbands shouldn’t tolerate Jezebel in their wives. Always remembering, the fight is with the demons, not the flesh.

Revelation 2:18-22

...These things says the Son of God, the One having His eyes as a flame of fire, and His feet like burnished brass. I know your works, and the love, and the ministry, and the faith, and your patience, and your works; and the last more than the first. But I have a few things against you, that you allow the woman Jezebel to teach, the one saying herself to be a prophetess, and to cause My slaves to go astray, and to commit fornication, and to eat idol sacrifices. And I gave time to her that she might repent of her fornication. And she did not repent. Behold, I am throwing her into a bed, and into great affliction the ones committing adultery with her, unless they repent of their works.

There are many demons that hinder children from submitting to the Word/Jesus. Common ones are rebellion, rejection, hurt and trauma by a parent or another person of authority over them. Children need deliverance like adults do.

PART 9 - PLAN OF ACTION FOR FAMILY PEACE

The Holy Trinity works so well together because Jesus does His Father’s will and the Holy Spirit does Jesus’ will. It’s a strong bond of love through submission. Likewise, if we want our earthly family to have the same love for each other, it requires submission. The husband must submit to the Word/Jesus, which means he’ll love his wife and lead her to an unblemished presentation to the Lord regardless of any turmoil he must go through in the process. He’ll need to be led by the Holy Spirit. The wife must submit to the Word/Jesus, which means she’ll submit to her husband in all things. She’ll need to be led by the Holy Spirit. Children must submit to the Word/Jesus, which means they’ll obey and honor their parents.

Learn the Word so we know what God’s will is.
Submit to God through obedience.
Repent for our sins.
Repent for our ancestor’s sins and break any generational curses.
Cast out the demons.
Be vigilant through obedience to the Word/Jesus and the leading of the Holy Spirit.